i really am a fuck up

wow.

i ruined everything with taylor.
it just wont happen now.
i posted a bulletin & i was talking SO MUCH SHIT about jennifer, ohhhh how i hate that bitch.
& it said something at the bottom that MAY HAVE REFERRED to me & taylor liking each other.
& damon read it. damon likes me. taylor likes me. damon & taylor = bffs.
damon liked me first.

you know how the whole "dont date my ex girlfriend" thing goes.

ohhhhh, i fuckkkkkkkked up.

i really really erally like taylor though.
like, alot. seriously.

& now i fucked up EVERYTHING.

&&&&&&&&&&&, jennifer's friend cierra read my bulletin, too.
& she told jennifer.
therefore, FIGHT TOMORROW AT SCHOOL.

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh god, kelsey.
way to fucking go.

everyone got drunk & high last nite.
& i was a good girl & didnt do shit.
go me!

my fucking family is being gay.
they're like YOUR HAIR IS A DISASTER.
shut the fuck upppppp. it looks good.
they're just mad im not the same little blonde haired blue eyed princess i used to be.
its called BECOMING YOURSELF, you fuckkkks.
(my mom just walked in & read this part & hit me. SUCK MY DICK MOM)


i hate conformity. real bad.
god daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

but i broke my fucking phone last nite at the mt juliet homecoming.
gooooood job, kelseyklutzface.
god, im so stoopid.
& mom's not getting me another.
not for a couple more months.
dddddddaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

im in love with this song called "apologize" by one republic.
sjkfhlksafdlldhaslk.
its going on my myspace after "what it is to burn" by finch.
i love that one toooooo.

but hannah needs to call me. nowwwww. i need to make plans wiff her.
im so stoked for today.
:]

britt, i hope things get better for you baby.<3

Current Location: moms.
Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: OneRepublic

im not wearing my red dress to CHS homecoming.
im wearing a black one, less formal.

thank jesus.

:]

im about to go to moms, i think.
wtf. i never know whats going on.

i neeed to make more specific plans with hannah.

dad busted me about my shitty math grade.
he wont stop fucking bugging me about it either.

i better not be grounded when cody gets here.
fuck.

i dyed my hair this dark chocolate brown color.
it looks gooooooooood.
but its darkdardark.

i like it though. kinda.
sometimes.

3 people told me point blank it looked like shit today.
haha.

alottttttttttt of people mistook me for hannah or chelsea.
i was like wtf?

kinda flattering though, considering they're both gorgeous.<3

anyway. i went to finley's after school & helped her with her homecoming outfit.
& ate half her ice cream.
& read an article about andrew from Something Corporate/Jack's Manniquen.
& i crieeeeeeeeed.

& we came back to my house & took pichas, cause we're gay.
but she took some good ones. mine sucked.

i went to the diner & ate. & was late for practice.
I JAMMED MY THUMB UP LAUREN HOPKIN'S BUTT.
on accident.
i could swear its brokennnnnnn.
it was funny as shit though.

i wish i was always as funny as i am at practice.
you niggaz would be pissed yo pants.

but i miss hannah.
TWO MORREEEEEE DAYYYYYYZ.
asdkjfhalskfhkajdfhklaf. i love her.

cody called me & we talked for like an hour or so, about everything.
i swear im in love with him.
butttttttt, im just a sister to him. so whatever.
as long as he's a part of my life i could honestly care less.
but he was like "i want to go back to school now, so i can take up for you. ill punch whoever says ANYTHING like that to you [my hair?]. i swear to god kelsey."
i was like "KLASFJDHAKLSJFH, MARRY ME"
cept. i dont have the guts.
cause im a pussy, & he's got like 2059834069 other girls to deal with.
plus he thinks of me as a "sister."
:/
whatever works, i love him.

goodnight.<3

i just got done having a 1 hour long talk with my dad & cherly.
it was about school at first. they told me i was smart & im just not applying myself... & theyre right.
i depend on others too much in school, i need to be doing everything on my own.
but i dont have time.
its too hard.
im sorry, im just too fucking stressed to fully apply myself right now.
im doing the best i can.


there's too much pressure on teenagers these days.
chores. schoolwork. beauty. weight. SEXSEXSEX.

im sorry, i just refuse to have sex right now.
im too young.
i just am.
its all boys want.
& im sorry, but i just wont give it up.
i mean these little sluts who go around sucking dick like its going to save their life, wtf?!
it kills me.
fucking whores.
& i said to cherly "they ruin it for all the good girls. all the boys go after them"
& she said "what are you talking about? they reveal the good boys from the bad."
& you know what? she's right.
fuck sex.

my dad was being really funny though.
he said "boys your age, they're just now starting to find out about pleasure. they're like 'hey, i have a wee wee! when i pull on it, stuff comes out! maybe i should get a girl to do it for me!' "
it was so fucking funny, seriously.

by the end of the conversation, i was bawling my eyes out. i hate life right now.



i love hannah stephens.
i went & saw her today at worrrrrrrrrrrrk.
i miss her, alot. but its all good.
homecoming, saturday.

im getting my hurr did tomorrow.

goodnight.<3

my life's a mess right now.

please read this hannah. i want you to know whats going on in my life right now, we need to catch up. :]


ventinggggggggggg:

my grades are 70's, on average. i used to be a straight A student.
psssssssht. you kidding me?
im lucky to make a fucking B.
but im not really worried about that, honestly.

my weight is ballistic right now. im gaining like jenny craig.
yet, i still eat more than my parents. combined.
who gives a fuck, honestly.

i've found a way to escape stress. escape boys. escape drama. escape from everything.
& that joy is RUNNING.
it seriously takes everything away.
im falling in love with it.

i never get enough sleep anymore.
never ever.

i wear too much makeup these days, & i never wash my hair.

acne got bad, im using proactiv now.

i got poison oak REALLY REALLY REALLY bad x3405983406923.
i took steroids & everything.
& it went away, but now its back.
so im using cream now.

i need a boyfriend.



& last but not least: friends.

lauren finley. ilove you so much girl. you're always here for me to talk to & talk about my problems with. you crack me up, but DAMNGIRL.
you worry too much, you're an amazing person & you're gorgeous. there's no need to worry about everythinggggggggg. shut up.

holly cotton. i love you alot, but i never tell you anything anymore, cause we never talk. you're head is so far up brad's ass i could scream.
but it doesnt bother me much, you always ditched me anyways.

chelsea swift. i love you, you dont get on my nerves. you give me space, & room to breathe. you little cutie<3i wish your confidence was higher though. you're so beautiful, you need to know that.

ashton guenther. you're gorgeous & sweet, & i love you calling me every night. we talk about everything, & ive never made anyone laugh as much as i make you laugh. you are soooo cute, sooooosososo cute. & im glad we're getting closer.

HANNAH STEPHENS. considering yuo're the only one who's reading this anyway, i just wanted to say these things.
I MISS YOU. we spent at least 2 or 3 days a week together this summer, & you were the most fun of anyone ive ever known. you bring out the real me, & its a fucking blast. we had so much fun this summer together.
THEN, you got grounded. crushed me. we didnt talk for a while. & it was really weird, cause we used to talk EVERYDAY.
then when i would try to talk to you, you seemed really irritated at everything i was saying. like i would say "hey SUP BABYGIRL?!@" & you'd normally be like "HEYYYY SLUTFACEDCUNT! nothing. masturbating" or something. & then you were just like "um. nothing"
so i was like wwwwwwwtf.
but we're starting to talk like we used to, & im so so sos osososososoo excited about seeing you saturday & spending the day/night with you.
its going to be amazing.

IM GOING TO GET MY MOM TO BUY US ALCOHOL.
deal?

i love you baby.


goodnight, have a wonderful week.<3

Current Location: my room?
Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: 30 seconds to mars